Come Hither

Come here, let me slip 

my fingers under your sleeve.

Let me wrap your arm 

like you belong to me.

Come here, let me feel

your essence in the air.

Let me drown in your breath

In all of your despair.

Come here, let me hear you

Ramble on of life & such.

Let me watch them dance 

Your eyes I love very much.

Come here, let me steal you

To lands you've never been.

Let me show you 

All the world's you haven't seen.

Come here, let me write you

Yet another long song.

Let me possess you

Like I haven't in so long.

Shackles

When will you 

Stop saying what you don't mean 

And not doing the things you say you will. 

When will you

Start the life you so passionately talk about 

And stop letting the shackles chain you down.

When will you

Grab the ropes of the metaphorical sails of life 

And steer yourself away from that quick sand.

When will I 

See those big brown droopy eyes 

And hold the hands that heal my heart's pains.

When will you 

Finally get onto that blue & white aeroplane 

And let your heart find it's way back to me.

Nobody's Listening

They all have something to say. 

Good or bad. 

Clever or dumb.

I sit there just watching them

Their lips smacking 

Tongues rolling , Pitches dancing 

Their faces in erratic myoclonic fits.

Most of the time

They don't make any sense.

I don't think they even care

A captive audience is all they want

And lo behold I am ever-present.

Ears open, eyes big & bright.

I think my vice is I read too much.

Their annoyance if interrupted

Their disinterest in a new topic

A little groan when they do not relate?

But I could be overthinking 

Over analysing as I always do.

Maybe they do want to listen 

Maybe I'm the hermit.

The one who likes the turtle shell comfort.

Who would let them blabber on

Than tell them to stop being boring.

I never wished I had a captive congregation. 

I do like listening to people.

Who said everyone needs to think like me. 

Doesn't that make all of this worthwhile

The gazzilion different permutations of opinions?

All the same, they don't want to mould

They detest anyone's belief but their own 

It's all shades of black and white  

Right or wrong

Moral - immoral

Just or unjust

Option 1 or 2

Never a third or a compromise 

Never a shade of grey 

Blue, green or purple!

They all have something to say.

Friendly or formidable.

Intelligent or idiotic.

Howbeit, nobody is listening. 

Ephemeral

One day it will all come to an end 

The joy and the torture alike.

The world will collapse onto itself

Pulling into it every bit of light

Every essence of sound

Plunging us into complete darkness.

So why spend today being someone you are not?

Why spend it doing something you dislike?

Why pine for the boy who didn't love you

Or the girl who repeatedly broke your trust?

Everything you feel is real

Everything you sense is true. 

Embrace the turmoil & the torment. 

Rejoice in the happyness & the hilarity. 

Swallow the indifference & the insensitivity.

Because one day 

It will all come to an end 

All the apprehension 

All the euphoria.

Agenda

The aim of today's agenda  

To figure out why you are hurting.

Why are you really mad? 

What lies at the root of that pain? 

Could you blame the circumstances?

Can your loved ones take the fall? 

Or are you in a conflict with yourself? 

How will you reconcile with such a realisation? 

Can one truly accept - they are the ones to blame? 

Can you? 

Can you admit all your mistakes

Gulp it down like a dirty bitter syrup 

And ask for forgiveness

maybe forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. 

Because the anger won't leave you.

Forgive yourself 

Because what is done is done.

Forgive yourself

Because you need to move forward.

It's time to stop looking back.

Empty

I'm soaking head to toe. 

The downpour is unkind today. 

Trees lashing, grass drooping 

The park is empty 

Obviously. 

I'm submerged brain to heart. 

The cloudburst is uncalled for today. 

Hands quivering, body shivering.

My anchor is unhinged 

Obviously. 

I'm drowning mind to soul.

The deluge is inhumane today.

Doors slamming, windows shattering.

The house is abandoned

Obviously.

Fog

When your mind mirrors the fog, 
Walk right into it, Let it consume you.
Annihilate the clouds of confusion
Then stride right out -
A stronger & braver you.

Let me be.

Let me be a little while longer,
Let me snuggle with my teddies. 
Let me play with the benevolent lion,
Who in reality would chew me out alive. 
Let me be in my warm cocoon, 
Let me hug my little husky.
Let me indulge in my sweet child-like dreams,
Because reality is harsher than it seem

Mask

This is your social face. 
A face you put on for the world to see. 
A look that is bright and full of life.

To show them that 
You are happy 
Confident 
Good 
That your day is perfect 
Pristine 
Beautiful

Not crumbling into pieces inside you 
Not shattering into pellets around you 
Not piercing your heart & clenching your lungs 
So hard that you cannot breathe 
Cannot move 
Cannot hear 
anything above all the deafening noise 
All the screaming thoughts
And the many murderous silences. 

This is the mask you paint on  
To comfort them that all is well.  

Knowing you.

For in my heart of hearts, I already know you.
I have been with you for years
I've seen you long before we met
I know your cracks, gaps
Wounds and scars.
Your laughter seems so familiar
Your smile so comforting
The flicker of anger so natural.

But I don't know you
I don't know who you are
I don't know the things you've been through
Pains you've felt and endured
Love you've touched and fallen for
I don't know your deepest secrets or lies
Your dreams or your desires.

But somewhere
In my heart of hearts
I know you.

Ringing in the panic

My head is ringing with all this noise.
The ringing is now reverberating
The reverberation now a gyration
The gyration now a blur.

My gut is churning with all this acid.
The churning turns into frothing
The frothing into a liquefaction
The liquefaction now a pulp.

My hand is tingling with all this heat.
The tingling becomes a twitch
The twitching now a palpitation.
The palpitation now a panic.

Clocks that crumble

Come 
Let's go some place brand new
For my shoes are collecting dust 
And my soles are getting itchy. 
My cam shutters slowing down 
My mind is sweetly sedating. 
Come
Let's go somewhere unknown,
Before the clock begins to crumble. 

Senses & The Sea

The sun is peeking through the clouds. He winks at me and disappears again. He's been playing hide & go seek all morning! The sky is its gorgeous blue. A blue I haven't seen in a while. The clouds are puffy,fluffy and happy. Is it just me projecting? Or is it really there? In my ' outer objective space' - words from the true hallucination definition.  

A glare obstructs my view of the computer screen causing me to look out of the window again. "There you are Mr. Sun, how gloriously joyful you are today!" I swear I can hear a 2 year olds giggle ring out of the stratosphere as I start to type again. A subtle breeze gushes through the corridors of the house. Its cold and its not winter; neither has it rained recently.

I remember how Alexandria felt. The cerulean sea complimenting the cloudless sky. The perpetual cool current. The water was unfailingly surreal, the weather always luminescent. The beaches were a blend of the sandy and rocky giving the shore an enchanting appeal. Or at least thats what I choose to remember.

I catch myself staring into the distance. The sea is close by here too. I know on a clear day I can catch a glimpse of it shimmering in the sunset. I miss being able to walk to it. The vast azure body - though not as beautiful as the Mediterranean - was surely as calming and strong.  There is something so strangely alluring about the ocean. We are merely a tiny speck on the planet, more than half of it is under water. I can never completely accept how magnificent it is to see the moon shower his power over the waters. 384,400 km away and he is causing waves! 

I'm always scared that one day I will be too lost to notice these things. I wonder if this sea breeze was here last March. I was lost then. I wonder how many March's I've lost because I was preoccupied.  Somehow I feel - despite my youth - that my time here is finite. I don't mean to be morbid or depressing. On the contrary, I am relatively happy today. Some days are hard but today isn't one of them. The sun, the sky and the mere idea that I might get a coup d'oeil of the ocean is causing my heart to jump out of my chest.