This is one of the toughest and most controversial question a child has to face. I remember being asked this a billion times when I was little. I always answered 'both!' and all my relatives and parents always laughed and commented that I was being very diplomatic... But even as a child... I never really knew who I loved more.
Ma would wipe the tears, feed you amazing food, dress you up for school and other events[fancy dresses at school and farewells!], encourage you to stand on your own 2 feet after every fall. While Pa would also wipe your tears, make you occassional amazing food (new development), teach you how to handle machines [tricycle, bicycle, -forbade the scooty though-, car!- training left incomplete dad!!], teach you languages he knew and ma didnt, teach you pathetically difficult math problems and patiently continue teaching despite making the world's most hilarious silly mistake! And Pa would of course read you a story and tuck you into bed.
Somehow over the years, as I grew up dad got busy with his work ["I'm working for you little ones", he'd say to my lil' sis and me when we'd accuse him of working too much] and I spent more time with Ma. There was no such distance between me and Pa... Just less time together. Maybe I never acknowlegded it because of my own hectic life [ yes my readers! my life was pretty hectic post-tenth!! ] but I did miss his presence at home... The kanada lessons in the inverter lit lights, the lazy badminton coaching at the indoor, the bed time panchatantra and tua-tui stories (of course all grown up now.. Dont need them to fall asleep)... But all this remained in my sub-conscious mind...
Then I moved to hostel and I missed home dearly! I would call 5 times a day - I'm serious- and since Ma wasn't working then, I'd speak with her. Pa would come home late at night and we would speak once in a few days... I realized we rarely spoke, was sad too, yelled and accused about it as well but life has its funny stubborn ways...
Over the last year -ever since the family moved to Egypt- I've consciously openly missed Ma and our talks a lot (though I must say, the reduced calls saved a lot of money and strangely bought about a change in me-whole different topic-). Missed Ma's food...ma's soothing hand over my head... Never was I was aware that I wasn't missing Pa. There was once when I thought that our relationship had become purely financial and I felt really bad about that.
The other day Pa passed a comment about how I seem to be missing Ma alone and not both Ma and Pa... Then it struck me... I felt bad for being un-diplomatic and partial... Then I felt bad for feeling the need to be diplomatic and lying about something!
Today my father left the country again (This is the second time I left him at the airport and gone unmentioned to anyone is that I was emo like his momma when he left the first time) and I felt empty and alone... And i realized how much I'd miss his 'Its a beautiful day!' wake up calls (both in person and through the telephone) The Most!! Not the fancy things he allows me to buy or the awesome baked potatoes he makes on saturdays or the horrible teasing he does(definitely not missing that pa! :P) but just his 'good mornings'...
I do miss you dad... Just as much as I miss ma's lovely food and ma of course! Don't be jealous :P
[How's that for being diplomatic? ;D]
4 comments:
yes darling it happens to all of us. But its good you are still missing us! soon you will become totally independent and will stop missing us that's a day I really dread because parents never stop missing their children but children do stop! its the law of the world!
hey sweetie pie. My father has told me innumerable times, whatever happens in one's life, always love and take care of your mom. It's no secret that it's the mother who has taken the pain, when you get into this world and the umbilical cord never breaks - one is always a part of the Mother, always and forever.
So I am really glad that you miss your mother and love her and miss her so much. There is no replacement to the love to the Mother. So it's time to be undiplomatic, because father knows and understands. And dear, thanks for all the love and emo you have given me all these years.
We are lucky and blessed to have children like you ... and like always, I will be around to wish you .."it's a beautiful day ...the sun is shining.." or "there will be sunshine after rain, there will be happiness after pain, so why worry now ..."
btw - very well written - looks like you have taken this fabulous writing skill from pa !!
I cant believe how every word you wrote in there is so what i feel about my dad. And exactly the way all of us or maybe most of us feel.Thinking about it on more of an emotional perspective this was one of your best pieces i have ever read i think.:)
*from an emotional perspective*
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