The annually occurring celebration that everyone patiently waits for! The day God, The Supremacy or The Universe -however you see it- gave life to you! The day all your senses were exposed to the earthly atmosphere! The celebration of the only day when your mother was relieved to hear you wail our throat out! Yup, The Birthday.
Initial few birthdays you doesn't really recall at all but I am sure it involved getting dressed in the prettiest outfit and having your cheeks have their life squeezed out of them! Then once you start going to school, two things start out - The school rituals and the birthday party rituals. I have to say, as a child, all these formalities was a win-win situation for both the b'day baby and his/her friends but doubt it was ever a pleasant time for either parties parents!
The School Rituals:
The b'day baby has one major duty and in return he/she receives a grand privilege. Duty requires them to distribute small toffees to every student in class and a special sweet or chocolate to each teacher. In return, the school loosens its strict uniform policy and the b'day baby is allowed to wear a causal outfit of their choice and as a tribute from the students and teachers alike the poor kid is made to stand in front of the whole school or class and have 'Happy Birthday' sung to them. Personally I remember being thrilled standing in front of the class but I know a lot of friends who were quite embarrassed by the whole ceremony!
The Birthday Party Rituals:
These lengthy rituals go on for a while, longer for few than for the others, after which the whole pattern changes. As one moves through his/her teenage years, not only does he/she get picker about his/her friend circle but also realizes the amount of fuss the kiddish birthday party creates. I think maybe out of want for privacy one starts giving 'treats' as a replacement for the big b'day bash but still the same. Gifts are still received and an expensive outing is given as the return gift. Honestly speaking, either because it is true or because the money is spent right under our eyes, I find this whole thing a win-lose situation. Anyway, everyone loves a trip outside.
During school days it was quite wonderful because we were still under our parents restrictions and rules and had rarely gone on such outings. It was our first few adventures on our own. Mostly the treats were given at malls, fast food stores and others just like.
But once in hostel, life completely changed. The freedom was exploited and to tell you the truth after 4 years in hostel and 4 years of multiple treats and more-than-you-can-count number of outings, I am pretty exhausted with this adolescent-adulthood transition birthday ritual. Initially the first birthday at hostel would be hosted by your closest friend or your room-mate, who'd arrange for the cake and decoration and the entire wing would help decorate your room. An hour before 12 A.M. you would be ushered into another room (or bathroom in my case) and then surprised by all the girls. Of course once done, the surprise disappears. But it was still a delight to be princess for the day the following year too. Drawback of all this was that the mini-wardens never liked the commotion most girls make. I suppose with the shrill voices no one would be happy to hear it at midnight, it would scare you to the core! Another ritual I learnt about in hostel was the birthday bumps - painful kicks, lifts and falls given to the b'day baby which according to Wikipedia is meant to drive away evil and attract good luck!
Now, sadly the win-lose ritual the treat still persists. Now not only does your friend circle grow but they don't hesitate to demand a treat, assuming it is their birth right to eat out of our pocket money. As always, initially the excuse to be host to a large group of friends and have a tiny food-party was rather exciting. Figuring out what means of transport to use to reach the well chosen restaurant-that was neither too cheap nor too expensive-, being seated after giving the hotel manager and waiter a delight by entering as a large number, having to order for so many people, having trivial and pointless conversation with each other covering every possible topic! All of it becomes a part of the new improved ritual!
Oh! The gifts though remain the same. Gender oriented! I suppose most people like it. Forgive me, it is after all just an opinion. But I do like how, as we grow older, gifts from our parents become more meaningful and more personalized. Around the mid-teens, parents (poor things have to see through our tantrums of that phase) start giving the b'day teen an option to choose his/her own gift within a given budget. This is a rather nice system.
Since these are all the birthday parties and treats I've attended I have no data on how birthdays are as adults and parents. But if I may, as a family, we buy small gifts for our parents, cut a home made cake and have an outing to a fancy restaurant for dinner and drive around the city.
And as for being the gift giver. I find it quite challenging finding the right gift. It is very important to me that the gift be something that is required by the recipient and not something that would be eventually throw away or kept on a shelf to collect dust. Another thing that is going out of fashion -I think its already extinct- is the Card. Probably Archie's is at a loss with respect to this. I developed a wonderful habit of making cards for the ones closest to me. For some it might seem like a tedious job, but I quite enjoy it. I have a sort of thing for stationary items and craft! So usually a card and a useful gift is what I present to the b'day babies!
Before I close off, a thought had struck me few weeks back - Shouldn't a birthday be a celebration for the parents rather than the child? To avoid making the blog post rather vulgar and non-veg, I will ask you to simply give that a thought!
Overall birthdays are a wonderful day of the year with all the simple yet crazy rituals and I would suggest that this year on your birthday you go home and show your gratitude to the parents who created you. :)
Initial few birthdays you doesn't really recall at all but I am sure it involved getting dressed in the prettiest outfit and having your cheeks have their life squeezed out of them! Then once you start going to school, two things start out - The school rituals and the birthday party rituals. I have to say, as a child, all these formalities was a win-win situation for both the b'day baby and his/her friends but doubt it was ever a pleasant time for either parties parents!
The School Rituals:
The b'day baby has one major duty and in return he/she receives a grand privilege. Duty requires them to distribute small toffees to every student in class and a special sweet or chocolate to each teacher. In return, the school loosens its strict uniform policy and the b'day baby is allowed to wear a causal outfit of their choice and as a tribute from the students and teachers alike the poor kid is made to stand in front of the whole school or class and have 'Happy Birthday' sung to them. Personally I remember being thrilled standing in front of the class but I know a lot of friends who were quite embarrassed by the whole ceremony!
The Birthday Party Rituals:
- The Date And Time: The Birthday and Time usually after school hours if it's a working day; I think Sundays also it was in the evening hours.
- The Venue: In our days (oh! that makes me feel so old...yet experienced, thus happy and proud ) our parties were right at home. Nowadays I hear parents book restaurants or party halls or a section of McDonald's to reduce their over all burden. I suppose for working parents it seems justified. Anyway! In our days it was in our own houses - the drawing room, or the roof or the sweet garden outside; I think we've celebrated everywhere!
- The Decoration: For the parents who book hotels, well they miss out on this tedious but fun aspect. I distinctly remember Papa coming home early from work on these days just to hang up the streamers -which had to be specifically from the fan- and blow the balloons because Ma would be busy playing Chef.
- The Guest List: Now depending on whether you had colony or apartment or just your friends from school, your guest list differed. When the guest list included babies and young children, they were undoubtedly accompanied by their mothers or care-takers - who would be kind enough to lend the host mother a hand- but as the kids enter teenage-hood they come along by themselves.
- The Agenda: Most of the time, we'd have a round of games - Passing The Parcel, Musical Chairs, - followed by the cake cutting ceremony and then delicious food made by the Chef {Ma or the booked hotel's Chef - unquestionably you know whose was more devoured!}
- The Gifts (Received And Return): Now keep in mind, as a child and as a child at heart, this is the most important part of the day! Younger 'us' gets toys, initially gender based toys - girls get tons of Barbies and tea sets while boys got cars and G.I. Joes. Then they become gender neutral for a while, books, gadgets, shoes etc. As a teenager its gender specific again, girls gifts have to involve earrings, hair accessories, nail polish and what not! (Personally do not enjoy this stereotype!) and guys get wallets, socks, ties, computer gadgets. As I mentioned before, it is a win-win situation for every kid invited to the party, so as a bribe or treat - take it as you wish- the little kiddos get a small goody bag filled with toffees, a mediocre geometry box, stickers and things of the sort. It was the duty of the b'day baby to hand out the return gift and thank each guest for their splendid company!
- The Post Party Excitement: I distinctly remember being exempted from all the homework for the day and simply sitting amongst all my gifts, not wanting to go to bed, just so as to prolong the one day that I become a princess!
These lengthy rituals go on for a while, longer for few than for the others, after which the whole pattern changes. As one moves through his/her teenage years, not only does he/she get picker about his/her friend circle but also realizes the amount of fuss the kiddish birthday party creates. I think maybe out of want for privacy one starts giving 'treats' as a replacement for the big b'day bash but still the same. Gifts are still received and an expensive outing is given as the return gift. Honestly speaking, either because it is true or because the money is spent right under our eyes, I find this whole thing a win-lose situation. Anyway, everyone loves a trip outside.
During school days it was quite wonderful because we were still under our parents restrictions and rules and had rarely gone on such outings. It was our first few adventures on our own. Mostly the treats were given at malls, fast food stores and others just like.
But once in hostel, life completely changed. The freedom was exploited and to tell you the truth after 4 years in hostel and 4 years of multiple treats and more-than-you-can-count number of outings, I am pretty exhausted with this adolescent-adulthood transition birthday ritual. Initially the first birthday at hostel would be hosted by your closest friend or your room-mate, who'd arrange for the cake and decoration and the entire wing would help decorate your room. An hour before 12 A.M. you would be ushered into another room (or bathroom in my case) and then surprised by all the girls. Of course once done, the surprise disappears. But it was still a delight to be princess for the day the following year too. Drawback of all this was that the mini-wardens never liked the commotion most girls make. I suppose with the shrill voices no one would be happy to hear it at midnight, it would scare you to the core! Another ritual I learnt about in hostel was the birthday bumps - painful kicks, lifts and falls given to the b'day baby which according to Wikipedia is meant to drive away evil and attract good luck!
Now, sadly the win-lose ritual the treat still persists. Now not only does your friend circle grow but they don't hesitate to demand a treat, assuming it is their birth right to eat out of our pocket money. As always, initially the excuse to be host to a large group of friends and have a tiny food-party was rather exciting. Figuring out what means of transport to use to reach the well chosen restaurant-that was neither too cheap nor too expensive-, being seated after giving the hotel manager and waiter a delight by entering as a large number, having to order for so many people, having trivial and pointless conversation with each other covering every possible topic! All of it becomes a part of the new improved ritual!
Oh! The gifts though remain the same. Gender oriented! I suppose most people like it. Forgive me, it is after all just an opinion. But I do like how, as we grow older, gifts from our parents become more meaningful and more personalized. Around the mid-teens, parents (poor things have to see through our tantrums of that phase) start giving the b'day teen an option to choose his/her own gift within a given budget. This is a rather nice system.
Since these are all the birthday parties and treats I've attended I have no data on how birthdays are as adults and parents. But if I may, as a family, we buy small gifts for our parents, cut a home made cake and have an outing to a fancy restaurant for dinner and drive around the city.
And as for being the gift giver. I find it quite challenging finding the right gift. It is very important to me that the gift be something that is required by the recipient and not something that would be eventually throw away or kept on a shelf to collect dust. Another thing that is going out of fashion -I think its already extinct- is the Card. Probably Archie's is at a loss with respect to this. I developed a wonderful habit of making cards for the ones closest to me. For some it might seem like a tedious job, but I quite enjoy it. I have a sort of thing for stationary items and craft! So usually a card and a useful gift is what I present to the b'day babies!
Before I close off, a thought had struck me few weeks back - Shouldn't a birthday be a celebration for the parents rather than the child? To avoid making the blog post rather vulgar and non-veg, I will ask you to simply give that a thought!
Overall birthdays are a wonderful day of the year with all the simple yet crazy rituals and I would suggest that this year on your birthday you go home and show your gratitude to the parents who created you. :)
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