Forever and Always

She felt... Detached.. Yeah that was the word. Numb. The only thing reminding her she was alive was the chilly breeze soothingly floating through her window. She put the mug filled with steaming body-warming coffee beside her on the window sill and pulled her shawl tightly around her. As she watched her cafe latte's vapour slither upwards travelling away from her into the little apartment she lived in, she wished she could capture it in a photograph. Even if i did, the warmth that this scene gives me right now would never have been caught on a paper. Hmm... Maybe that's why they began making movies. She smiled, thinking of all the movies she had admired over the years. She had met very few people who shared the same interest in movies as she did and always felt out of place when she uncontrollably began discussing the pros and cons of the director, actors and storyline in front of people who only went for the movie for the feel-good nature and song and dance. 

Taking a long sniff of the caffeine filled vapours she reminded herself this wasn't what was bothering her. It had been over a year since they had seen each other. She sighed remembering their last day. It was perfect! 

Pop! She reflexly looked for her phone.She found it on the side table she had left it on after ordering her pizza. She had a message wishing her a Happy Birthday from a friend she hadn't seen for years. She smiled as she thanked her and felt old all of a sudden. Had so many years really passed? Oh how I miss college... How I miss him... Her smile faded as she looked out of her window onto the river down below, shimmering in the soft moonlight. The river moved just as time did. Slow in places, rough in others. But never stopping, never pausing. Constantly moving. She knew she had to make the choice she had made. It was her destiny.

 She reached out to her blue cup. She loved that colour. She wrapped her hands around its curves and thought of the delicious red dress she had chosen to wear instead that day. It was cold and she had worn her deep dark coat covering every inch of the beautiful dress. She had wanted to surprise him. He had only seen her in her casuals and comforts. She knew he never liked her with make up and made it a point to tell her girlfriends to doll her up just a little bit. Her hair tied up in her ever-favourite French bun, carefully set in with a large number of bobby pins. Her feet in the sweetest pair of black peep-toes, that had taken her months to break into. 

 A bracelet hung loosely on her right wrist and she held on to the strap of her sling purse while she waited for him outside her apartment porch. Fiddling nervously with the charms on her bangle, she thought of the years they had spent together, teasing, laughing and growing up into mature adults they were today. He had come a long way to see her. Her heartbeat quickened as she heard the rumble of a car engine growing louder around the corner. Lights flashed as the car skid onto the cobblestoned lane she lived on. A small blue Beetle. He parked right in front of her and stepped out of the car like a hero of a movie. Would saying 'like James Bond' be taking it too far? She smirked as she tried hard to memorise what he looked like that night. He had told her to dress up fancy but she had never expected him to do the same. Clad in a full suit, he had a black coat and matching tie on. A baby rose tucked in his left breast pocket and the pointed black shoes that he adored and hurt his feet equally. Aww he dolled up too! She gave him a big grin as she carefully stepped down from the porch. Keeping her hands tightly over her purse, she walked over to him as if it were their first date. Blushing she said "Bonjour"and he smiled looking at her like she was the prettiest thing alive. He gestured with his hands directing her to the passenger seat door, opened it and welcomed her into his warm rental car. Quickly he ran to the other side and climbed in. He had never been happier. 

In silent happiness, talking little, blushing more, both excited they drove over to the  Café de l'Homme. They had chosen it together. It has such a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower! As the waiter escorted them to their reserved seat, she reached out and slipped her fingers into his hand warming them up. He reciprocated by pinching her fingertips, she giggled as they settled into their chairs. Before sitting down, she twirled around to show off her dress. Her face almost as bright as the frock by now. They had lot of catching up to do. Over a very foreign, very delicious and very exotic dinner they spoke about their lives , how much it had changed, how the weather was a drag, how the work was exhilarating... Sooner than expected it was time for dessert. "Crème Brûlée for mademoiselle and a  Raspberry Charlotte for  monsieur, oui?" The waiter confirmed their order. She let out a satiated sigh while he quietly let out a burp. She giggled. She knew if he were back home he'd burp real loud and boast about it without an apology! He sheepishly smiled at her, conscious of all the hoitey-toitey people around them. She reassured him with a pat on his hand that no one had heard him and it didn't really matter. After a quick argument about the bill -finally going Dutch- they drove back to her apartment and walked by the river. Hand in hand they walked over to a near by bridge and sat on the ledge. The moon was full and she and the street lights sparkled in the water in unison. Far in the distance firecracker burst into flame in the clear sky. It was magical. You couldn't really ask for more. Arm around her shoulder, he knew it was time. She felt him stiffen and braced herself to say goodbye. I suppose the best part was we didn't have the cliche-d goodbye conversation. She smirked as she snuggled in her shawl and mufflers in her apartment looking over the bridge. She had watched his droopy eyes change from twinkling to an emotion as dark as his perfect suit. Oh how she wish she could tell him it hurt her as much and maybe more. He gave her a goodbye hug and kiss on her now open hair and told her he'd see her again sometime. Thanked her for the beautiful night and driven away. They had not spoken since. She had come to know through friends that he had been quite successful in his field the last year and she is proud. She missed him dearly but their paths were diverging, moving across a delta away and not towards each other. We are mature adults. It was a mature decision. Not childish and love struck. It was the right thing to do. She consoled herself as the doorbell rang. The pizza guy's here. She rushed across her miniature apartment to get her wallet screaming,"un moment!" as she passed the front door. With exact change, she straightened her shawl and opened the door. 

Her heart skipped a beat. Ok maybe even a couple more. He stood outside her door, drenched in the evenings' rain, desperately trying to fix his hair. He smiled his killer smile and said,"Told you I'd see you again"